Dealing with Dating and Genital Herpes

[(deleted)]

I was "given" HS2 about 25 years ago, during the separation from my first husband. This had nothing to do with either, was just a result of dating a man who wasn't honest with me. I have been basically sympton- free for about 15 or more years. I would like to know how others deal with telling their potential partner, when, and just how to deal with the dating world in general. I thought I had if figured out, until this new person in my life got so upset about this he decided to end the relationship after I told him (but not before wanting to have S-- 4 times with me). Please give me some ideas, I am a young (and told quite attractive) 56 year old professional woman who is hurt and confused about this and am wondering if dating is really worth it anymore.

Bw23451

[faith50]

`Hi beachwoman, I'm new at this site. I was given this problem by my ex who didn't tell me he had it. We were married 6 months when I broke out. Only with him for 3 years. Felt "stuck" with him because of it. Should have left sooner for lots of other reasons. Anyway, I'm also a young and told attractive 57 year old. I am dating. My boyfriend accepted me this way. If things don't work out for us, I feel like I have to be celebate for the rest of my life. I think this makes me work harder on my relationship, but this man is not my soulmate. I've met men that tell me if it's true love they would take it on, but I've been around long enough to know that men say and do almost anything to take you to bed.I hate to be so negetive. Maybe that's why these sites are here. For me I'd have to find someone else that had it. My doctor says 1 in 4 have it and don't know it. People that have one probably have other STDS that could be worse. I met a guy in church once in a singles group. We went out for coffee and right away he told me he had it. He was very attractive and also had parkinson's. I didn't reject him, but he never asked me out after that. I guess he didn't like me, whatever. Men our age that are quality are few and far between, let alone with this problem. It's sad Huh? I pray God will send you your guy. I really believe he answers prayer. I'm wondering if others feel stuck with the one they have but aren't happy? Do you live by a beach? If so, lucky you, I love the ocean. My boyfriend won't travel. I'm looking for a cruise buddy for the future too or other trips. I feel nervous being here. Isn't that sad? Do you feel judged for this? I told someone the other day and they got the most disqusting look on their face. Bye for Now

[monstercinna]

`I am very young and was "given" Type 2 Herpes also. I have been having problems figuring out how I am going to be able to carry a relationship with this chip on my shoulder.

When I first found out i had it, I panicked to tell my current boyfriend. I was scared to death that I might have given it to him. Well once I told him, he was perfectly fine with it. He told me it didn't matter if he had it or not- and that he was going to spend the rest of his life with me. I fell for it and believed everything.

Well during S-- we didn't really worry about it. But now that we are separated, and he has another girlfriend- I really hope he is careful what he's doing. He has not been tested, and I am almost positive they are having s--.



I find it very unfair to that girl he is with. A part of me wants to send her an email and let her know what the possibilities are. But my ex ----ed me over bad. So Im staying out of it.


I have made the choice to no longer have S-- until I get married. I am not a selfish person. I did not deserve this virus, I was never informed of the virus, and now im stuck with it for life. Along with many others. Its unfair and distasteful.

[david201]

`i was given herpes when i was very young and its made it really hard to date or even be open to dating... it is unfair when some douche doesnt tell the person there about to sleep with that oh yah, theres a chance i might be giving u a disease! thats real love right there... anyway im just angry. anyway i had a point when i decided to post this but it got lost in translation...

[david201]

`oh yah and heres the kicker, i got it from being ed, and since i was so young i was completely screwed!!! what am i trying to say?? that ive never been able to love a girl, never been able to have real feelings or a real ----ing relationship, why? Herpes2 anyway thats the first time ive ever said that it feels good to vent sometimes lol

[lonelyinnm]

`I'm 33 today and I feel completely helpless about this. I have only ever had one relationship in my life, and didn't see any symptoms until over a year after it began. I don't even know where it came from exactly. Either way, I have it now and feel completely lost. I have spent so much of my life without intimacy and it doesn't seem likely to get better. I'm too much of a coward to even start anything with a woman because I know I will have to tell her about it. The last thing I want is my friends finding out and looking at me with pity or disgust. That is another reason I don't pursue women. Some of my friends think I'm asexual because of this. I just don't know what to do really, how to best handle it....it seems silly to just blurt it out on a first date, yet if you wait too long it becomes a lie by ommission. I would never have S-- with a woman without telling her first and that is one of my biggest concerns, passing it on. So I have looked for women in my same position because I figured it would be easier to find someone who bears the same burden. I haven't had any luck so far. Even without HSV-2, I have enough problems and just hope to some day meet a woman who loves me despite them.

[hopeful19]

`I just recently went to the doctor today to cure my "yeast infection". I first had "strep" then i got a uti then that. When the doctor examined me she immediately knew I had herpes. It all made so much sense but I busted out in tears and seen everything flash before me. I see pictures of me from when I was a virgin and I just wish so much that I could go back in time and avoid this curse. My outbreaks are horrible and I'm in so much pain physically and mentally. I never in my life thought I would be the one who got it. I feel like the old dog in the pound with fleas and worms. I'm a nice person and I dont get why this happened to me, at 19 I should be healthy

[(deleted)]

`I am 42, was married my whole life, never experienced great wild S-- and i have been divorced almost 2 years ,since then i have been very active with many many partners,what was i thinking well, i wasn't i guess i was just thinking i would never get an STD well, i was told today i had Herpes slept with a great guy for the 5th time this past month ,he is not a boyfriend just another wanting my great s--..Do i move on and learn from my mistakes and not tell this guy that wants no more that a hott steamy nite of S-- and let it go or what..